当画遇到诗｜炜国相遇佩索阿

文／段少锋

因为侯炜国我决定去认真的读读佩索阿的《不安之书》。而“不安之书”是这次侯炜国展览的主题，侯炜国随口提起这本书我觉得感觉是对的，虽然我对于佩索阿的《不安之书》并不曾读过，隐隐中觉得这四个字作为展览主题的得当，传达的感觉和其中隐秘的信息，恰好是侯炜国的作品中不可言说的那部分。我们的生命经验中都有这部分隐秘不可告知人的部分，首先不知道如何描述，第二，描述的不得当很容易成为一个灾难，第三，即便是表述的合理，也只是在自己看来合理，人与人之间本质上不可能沟通，不可能有共识，这是我们不安的本源。所以我们信赖写作，相信创作的感受，我想很大一部分原因，是因为这两者寄托了我们的不安。

太宰治的“生而为人我很抱歉”透漏着的虚空和绝望有时候给我带来的感受反而是感动的，也许因为某一刻我们也曾堕入虚空。我发现一个有意思的问题，在我们的教育经验中反而更容易在小时候去想终极问题，比如人生为何这样的问题，我们每个人都写过这样的比喻句，人生是一场旅行抑或一条大河，那时的少不更事，到往后却是变的越来越不愿意去想这些事情，毕竟人生苦短，所有的终极问题都指向自我毁灭的嫌疑，所以面对终极问题至少我会有畏惧感，不敢去谈论生死，不敢去面对意义的探讨，一旦陷入这样的问题，我会变的越来越像是太宰治那样，觉得“生而为人我很抱歉”。

我和炜国有一点相似的地方在于我们很多的工作其实是在克服自己的悲观，写字，画画，做具体的每天的工作可能做的都是这样，悲观，携带一丝对于自己的失望，和对于这个世界不安的情绪，最终的结果反倒是一个积极的悲观主义者的结局，叔本华在《附录与补遗》中提到的就有“一个悲观主义者的积极思考”，叔本华说：“拒绝现在的欢乐时刻，或是因为对过去和未来不安，而未能珍惜目前的美好时光，就是极大的愚蠢。但对于现在，让我们记住塞尼加的话：‘把每一天都当作独特的一生看待’。我们要尽可能地把每一天过得称心满意，它是我们实际上拥有的唯一时间”。这种很可能被理解成鸡汤一样的文字，仔细思考，结合自己的境遇，会产生感动，这种感动我也理解成一种自我创作，本质是自我感动，但是我常和朋友说自我感动总是一种感动，总比不感动好吧？然后在新周刊有一期讲述宫崎骏的创作提到了“悲观是我们的共同信仰”，提及20世纪的悲观地图说到福柯，福柯说自己就是一个悲观的积极主义行动者。

最后就是迟子建，我基本没读过迟子建的小说，但是迟子建说的“哀愁”我也可以理解为悲观的一种，我同时也一直坚信哀愁是艺术作品必要的一部分，有一段时间朋友圈一直传梁文道一篇梁文道《当代艺术为何不在感人》的文章，其实是开卷八分钟讲述的一本《绘画的眼泪》这样一本书的讲述，我觉得迟子建对于”哀愁“的理解贴近我和侯炜国的一些看法，迟子建写道：

“我们被阻隔在了青山绿水之外，不闻清风鸟语，不见明月彩云，哀愁的土壤就这样寸寸流失。我们所创造的那些被标榜为艺术的作品，要么言之无物、空洞乏味，要么迷离傥荡、装神弄鬼。那些自诩为切近底层生活的貌似饱满的东西，散发的却是一股雄赳赳的粗鄙之气。我们的心中不再有哀愁了，所以说尽管我们过得很热闹，但内心是空虚的；我们看似生活富足，可我们捧在手中的，不过是一只自慰的空碗罢”。

写到这里，我在想我最初侯炜国的作品触动我的是什么，我想可能是马的眼睛吧，黑色的眼睛，瘦马的眼睛，有一种落泪的感觉，这些马孤独的在画面中，宛如在一片白茫茫的雪原之上，黑眼睛，白雪原，这样的意象一出现，我想进入这样情境的人都会想到孤独，孤独中夹杂着失望、希望、冷清、寂寥，站在悲观主义者的角度，这是我们最终的归宿。恰好这些马也是版画边角料拼成，隐约中预示着马的孤独终老，最终我们只是”尘归尘土归土“。

这个展览对我的收获很重要的一点就是伴随着和炜国的聊天，作为策展人，这是我的学习。进入一个陌生的灵魂，去了解他的生命境遇和经验，接触到他直接的创作体会，对于我就是打开一扇新的窗户，看到不一样的世界。

写于2017年6月26日

为侯炜国作品展所作

I decided to read The Book of Disquiet by Pessoa carefully because of Weiguo Hou. "The Book of Disquiet" is the theme of Weiguo Hou's exhibition. I think it is right that Weiguo Hou uses this book from the four words, although I haven't read Pessoa's The Book of Disquiet. It conveys a kind of feeling and hidden information, which happens to be the unspeakable part of Weiguo Hou's works. We all have secrets. First, we don't know how to describe them; second, they may cause a disaster if described improperly, third, although it seems that the statement is reasonable, it is just our own views. People can't make communication or reach consensus actually, which is the source of our disquiet. So we trust writing and believe the feelings of creation, I think it is largely because that they are the place where our disquiet rests.  

"I Am Sorry to Be A Humanbeng" by Dazai Osamu reveals emptiness and despair, which touches our heart, maybe we once felt empty in a certain moment. It is interesting that we tend to think about profund questions when we are young, such as why the life is like this. All of us have ever written a metaphorical sentence, such as: life is a trip or a great river. At that time, we were wet behind the ears, and later, we were increasingly unwilling to think about those question, because life is so short, and those questions make us feel afraid when it comes to death. The more we think about those problems, the more we feel "Sorry to Be A Humanbeing". 

I have something in common with Weiguo on that we do most of the work to overcome our pessimism, such as writing, painting. We are disappointed with ourselves and feel restless in the world, which seems to be the destiny of a positive pessimist. Schopenhauer mentioned "positive thinking of a pessimist" in the Parerga and Paralipomena, saying "it is great stupidity to reject the present moment of joy, or not cherish the present good times because of the uneasiness of the past and the future." Let's remember the words of Seniga, "live every day as if it is a unique life. We should try to be pleased every day, because it is the only time we actually have."It seems to be chicken soup kind of words, but we will be moved when we think of our own situation. I think of this kind of move as a self-creation, whose nature is auto-affection. But I often tell my friends it is also a kind of move, better than not having it. Miyazaki Hayao mentioned in a new weekly that "pessimism is our common faith", speaking of Foucault when it came to the pessimistic map of the 20th century, who once said he was a pessimistic activist. 

Finally, it comes to Chi Zijian. I didn't read Chi Zijian's novel, but I think the "sorrow" Chi Zijian said can also be understood as a kind of pessimism. I also believe that sorrow is a necessary part of the works of art. An article Why Contemporary Arts Not Touching by Leung Man-tao was popular for a period of time in the friend circle. It narrated a book named The Tears of Painting at the start of the book. I think Chi Zijian's "sorrow" is very close to some of the viewpoints of Weiguo Hou and me. Chi Zijian wrote like this:

"We are blocked outside of the mountains and green water, unable to hear the fresh wind and singing birds, or see the moon and clouds, and the land of sorrow just disappears bit by bit. We created those things labeled as art works, which were actually empty, boring, blurred, deliberately mystifying. Those styled to be close to the life of the bottom turns out to be vulgar and coarse. We no longer feel sad, lively as we live, we feel empty; abundant and rich as we seem to be, actually we are just consoling ourselves. 

Now it reminds me of the moment when Weiguo Hou's work touched me probably when I saw the eyes of the horse. They were black eyes of the thin horse, as if they were about to shed tears. These horses were lonely as if they were along on the white snowfield.  Under the contrast of dark eyes and white snow, it made me feel a kind of loneliness mixed with disappointment, hope, desolation. In the view of the pessimist, this is our ultimate destination. These horses are pieced together with leftover materials, indicating that the horse will die alone, just like us. 

More importantly, as a curator, I learned a lot from talking to Weiguo during the exhibition. I learned about his life experiences and his feelings of creation, which was totally a new world for me.  

8种不同版本的佩索阿《不安之书》：

展览侧记：

关于“不安之书”侯炜国作品展的策划其实是一个伴随着聊天的过程，其实重要的往往不是展览本身，展览只是一个结果，作品也只是艺术家的一个结果。

最早我跟侯炜国说，我觉得马这个意象总让我想起海子，海子虽然在死后三十余年被神话到一个位置，从此每年春天都会出现无数个海子，海子总在春天复活，关于海子写的马的意象应该不少，虽然我没有统计过，我最喜欢的海子的诗歌是《祖国或以梦为马》，这首诗甚至是我当年考电影学院导演系时候朗诵考试选择的篇目，我用蹩脚的带着山西口音的普通话尽可能抑扬顿挫的读出来，当时很多人笑了。但这首诗我一直记着，经常会心中默念。有一次我在自己的T恤上印上了海子这首诗的某一段，我穿梭在春天的美院附近，漫天杨树花落下白雪一般，我在南街报刊亭附近见到了诗人西川，西川老师是海子生前挚友，西川老师看到我穿的T恤很惊诧，然后我真的给他点了一支兰州烟，就在转头离开的时候我看到动物园咖啡里面独自坐着看书的诗人欧阳江河，我一直认为这是我经历最文艺的一个春天的记忆。海子和他的朋友这样的方式相会，我看到了他的两位生前挚友。说了这么多题外话只是想衬托出这种红尘之中日常的某些诗意。谈到海子的马，《以梦为马》这首诗中写道：

太阳是我的名字 

太阳是我的一生 

太阳的山顶埋葬 诗歌的尸体——千年王国和我 

骑着五千年凤凰和名字叫"马"的龙——我必将失败 

但诗歌本身以太阳必将胜利 

这里的马带着一种灿烂的消逝感，有失望，绝望，绚烂的希望，我觉得无从描述这种感受，龙是我们的民族，而马的意象的龙我想可能是一种带着中国传统文化情怀的文化理想，但是这样的文化理想在海子看来却是必将失败的。这种宣言的壮烈和自我审判的感觉让我觉得很悲壮。所以最早侯炜国的展览我想应该是”被称为马的龙“。但逐渐我们发现这样很容易混淆一个东西，其实侯炜国的马和海子的马比起来没有那么悲壮，更多的是哀愁罢了。

所以最后的问题围绕着讨论的结果是”不安“。

艺术家侯炜国（左）与策展人段少锋（右）

本次展览的邀请函是一瓶特制酒标的牛栏山二锅头，我觉得酒精可以治疗不安，恰好我想多年之后这些酒倘若幸存，见证我们的不安，一起经历我们生活的时代，变成老酒，和我们这些现在还可以勉强称之为青年的人散发着粮食的气息。